pain is for a reason

looking back at the past year of my life, i have to say it has been quite an adventure. so much has gone on and so much in my life has changed.
i have changed.
relationships have been broken, others made. tears have been shed but joy has always come after it. hearts have been broken and unfortunately, have left to be mended. sadness and change come, but life goes on, whether we like it or not.
seeing who i was and who i am, in a way, it's amazing i'm even here. i have been through so much heartache. i have experienced loneliness, betrayal, hatred, abandonment, and so many other mixes of feelings and emotions, they can't be put down in words.
in the past year and a half of my life you would see 2 completely different people.
i used to be extremely unhappy. depression constantly followed me. you would hardly ever see me smile. i clung to a person who could not help me but could only make things worse and increase my heartache. endless nights would be spent crying myself to sleep, wishing i was dead so i wouldn't have to hurt anymore.
so i wouldn't have to feel pain.

now. it's a different story.

i really don't think that i would trade those painful moments in for anything. they have made me who i am. the pain, the hurt, the betrayal, the heartache, the tears, all of it has been for a reason. without them, i don't think i could love like i do today. i couldn't relate to others and what they are going through. i couldn't smile like i do now. i wouldn't be who i am now.

that's it. i can't write down every emotion, feeling, or experience into fancy words that would touch your heart or move you to tears. but i can be honest with you. that's what i would want from other people. so i'm going to leave you with this: when those hard times come, don't wallow in self-pity. just remember, that "weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning."(Psalm 30:5)

there is Someone who does care.