patience

hey everybody! sorry it's been a while. i kinda suck at this whole blogging thing. but i'm back and just wanted to share a thought or 2 with you.

i was doing my Bible reading last night and i came across this verse...

"A fool shows his annoyance at once,
but a prudent man overlooks an insult."
Proverbs 12:16 NIV

when i read that verse God totally convicted me. so many times when someone says something to me that just makes me mad, i just want to get so pissed off and scream right in their face without thinking about it. but i ALWAYS feel bad about it afterwards and wish that i had never said anything. the Bible says that a FOOL does that. i guess God's just been working on my whole patience issue and hopefully i'll improve so i won't be sticking my foot in my mouth all the time.

*peace and love everybody!
:)

be the change

lately i have felt a calling in my life to reach out to other people. and not just to those overseas. but to those around me.
i want to make a difference in other people's lives.
i want to make a difference in this world.
i know that i am only one person but i want to do what i can to touch others in a positive way.
i really want to take some time off and work with other people that have the same passion and vision that i do.
this is what i want to get involved in...

tolerance?

you tell me to keep an open mind
yet your mind is closed
you tell me to accept your religion, lifestyle, and beliefs
yet you refuse to accept mine
you tell me i need to "do what is right for you."
yet when i do it, it offends you
you say that we need to change things in this world for the better
yet when i try to change it for the better, in your eyes, it's wrong
you scream "tolerance! tolerance!"
yet you have none for those that believe differently than you



i'll admit...you've kept an open mind. but it was so open your brain fell out.
you all say that you're all different but all i see is a bunch of robots chanting a slogan over and over.
you were born an origional: you are dying a copy.
you're strengh in modern philosophies has become your weakness.
your motto's for change have turned into idiocy.
your originality has turned into conformity
you are a follwer: not a leader

so just to let you know... next time you're telling me i need to be more tolerant of your way of living, i am going to say the same thing to you. i will not conform to anything that you stand for because i answer to an Authority that is greater than yours! and His law has more power than any of yours

peace

you know, it so weird. for the past several weeks i've constantly had the election on my mind and i've gotten more and more nervous about it every day. so many times i'd listen to what was on the news and i'd sit down and just think "crap! AMERICA IS SCREWED!!"

i've worried about this day for so long and knew that i would feel completely helpless when it came because i know i can't do anything about it.
i've worried about my future, my parent's future, my grandparent's future. not knowing what lies ahead and scared at the possible reality of what might happen. not knowing if life as i know it is going to dramatically change absolutely scares me to death. facing the unknown always scares me & so many times i've wondered if God was really in control.

but today...things changed. this morning when i woke up, i prayed for the outcomes the election. not knowing which way it would go but fearing the worst. when i finished my prayer and started getting ready for my day; it hit me. a supernatual peace came over me & it felt like God put His arms around me and said "Everything is going to be ok. I am still in control." it was so weird(but in a good way).i had the feeling that things were most likely going to change for the worst but in that moment that feeling of peace said that even if things do take a turn for the worst it was still going to be ok. my God had not forgetten

so many times in my life i went through extremely difficult times & wondered if God was in control. or if He even cared. but now i look back and realize that He went with me through all those times. holding me, comforting me, letting me know that everything would work out for the best in the end. and now i realize that He stayed true to His word and it has. and even now He is still in control.

i think that everyone needs to realize, whether you belive in God or not, that everything happens for a reason. difficult and uncertain times like this are for a reason. God is in control. He has not forgotten the rightous that live among a wicked people. and even though we may suffer through these times we need to remember that we have a God that is bigger than all evil in this world and He will protect His people if we remain faithful to Him.

why?

there have been a lot of things on my mind lately. several issues that i have been meaning to write about but haven't taken the time to. but this is something that i feel extremely compelled to write about. it is an issue that i have very strong personal convictions on: abortion.

i was sitting here at my computer just a few minutes ago, bored and had pretty much nothing to do. there's this great organization that i really like called Abort73. they were in my top friends on my myspace and i figured that i'd browse their page and put a banner or something on mine. i linked to their website and this is what i found...



i sat here at my computer crying, when i saw those horrific images come across the screen. i couldn't even bring myself to watch the whole thing. i was disgusted and horrified that things like this even go on in a FREE country like america! we claim to give all American citizens equal rights...minus those that do not have a voice.
it is time that america understands that WE DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO PLAY GOD! it is a child! a living, breathing gift of life...not a choice! if america wishes to prosper and thrive, this barbaric practice needs to stop NOW!

it's time that we took action and put an end America's holocaust.
ignorance ends here.

Abort73.com

Vices like Vipers

these lyrics never cease to amaze me...

Your scarlet soaked and bold
and the sheep's eyes locked to mine, sink to my bones.
Though your lips still drip, intentions, they keep me wanting more...
It's rising against all the walls we built for falling.
All the walls we built just stand in vain to draw you near.
It's the wool to hide the wolves.
And under these toes from where we last spoke, Your words laid so firm.
But I did not shed that skin like You said.
When the mason neglects the mortar, looks become deceiving
and when the bricks start to fall,
I'll be the one crawling down this road so dark.
Vices like vipers
Speak in whispers.
My heel's the meat to sink their teeth,
Like the viper I kept when You said, "Let go!"
This is what it took for me to see.
When I am God this church is unsound.
Slithering in the shade of a sinking church,
Surprise is no excuse for the traps that you left in the wake of warning.
So this is the warning, You fall to learn.
And to the girls,
You're worth more than the cheap words.
You see your body as beauty, but your pulse is worth more.
Hear me, it's not what it seems, though the feeding tastes of honesty.
This is the warning, you're just a hit to coax my urgency.
Why do we keep what holds us? Why do I keep what holds me down?
Lose the weight of defeat. It's time to stand your ground!
Vices like vipers
Speak in whispers.
My heel's the meat to sink their teeth,
Like the viper
I kept when You said, "Let go!"
Since all the alibis of ignorance are void...
This, my lust, the pornos and the sluts.
Take, my lust, this world's Love.
Great Councilor, take what's left.
Great Councilor, take what's left of me.

-Oh, Sleeper

pain is for a reason

looking back at the past year of my life, i have to say it has been quite an adventure. so much has gone on and so much in my life has changed.
i have changed.
relationships have been broken, others made. tears have been shed but joy has always come after it. hearts have been broken and unfortunately, have left to be mended. sadness and change come, but life goes on, whether we like it or not.
seeing who i was and who i am, in a way, it's amazing i'm even here. i have been through so much heartache. i have experienced loneliness, betrayal, hatred, abandonment, and so many other mixes of feelings and emotions, they can't be put down in words.
in the past year and a half of my life you would see 2 completely different people.
i used to be extremely unhappy. depression constantly followed me. you would hardly ever see me smile. i clung to a person who could not help me but could only make things worse and increase my heartache. endless nights would be spent crying myself to sleep, wishing i was dead so i wouldn't have to hurt anymore.
so i wouldn't have to feel pain.

now. it's a different story.

i really don't think that i would trade those painful moments in for anything. they have made me who i am. the pain, the hurt, the betrayal, the heartache, the tears, all of it has been for a reason. without them, i don't think i could love like i do today. i couldn't relate to others and what they are going through. i couldn't smile like i do now. i wouldn't be who i am now.

that's it. i can't write down every emotion, feeling, or experience into fancy words that would touch your heart or move you to tears. but i can be honest with you. that's what i would want from other people. so i'm going to leave you with this: when those hard times come, don't wallow in self-pity. just remember, that "weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning."(Psalm 30:5)

there is Someone who does care.